Bugs Bunny's Vacation Funnies
by TailsLovesCosmo
Summary: A series of Looney Tunes stories with Bugs, Daffy, Elmer, and the whole Looney Gang.


Elmer Fudd in

"Elmer's Bad Day"

It was mid-summer, and had been hot even in the middle of the night, which was why Elmer Fudd slept with his window open that night. Because it was open, the sound of chewing came easily to his ears early that morning, awakening him.

"What on Earth is all that munching and crunching?" Elmer demanded, sitting up in bed. His eyebrows suddenly met in the middle as he became more fully awake. "Oo, I know what it is!" he said, jumping out of bed. "It's that scwewy wabbit, eating my cawwots again! Where's my gun? I'm gonna bwast him good!"

As he had correctly guessed, Bugs Bunny had sneaked into Elmer's carrot patch and was happily helping himself. "Ah, ol' Fuddsy might be oofty-mcgoofty, but he grows a pretty mean carrot!"

Bang! The carrot Bugs had been chewing on was suddenly shot in half! "Yipe!" he cried, making a run for the fence.

"I'll fix you for stealing my cawwots, you darned old wabbit!" Elmer cried, running after Bugs still in his nightshirt. "Hold still so I can bwast you!"

Bugs ran quickly down the street and towards a busy street, Elmer in hot pursuit.

Elmer was so angry at Bugs that he didn't notice he was running past people still in his nightshirt. That is, not until he heard the laughter. He stopped suddenly, face growing red, and yanked his shirt down. He turned and ran hurriedly home, feeling like a complete fool, giggles and chuckles and even guffaws following him all the way.

Elmer slammed his front door. "What an embawwassing situation!" he said. "I'd better get dwessed, and…what's that?" Elmer could distinctly hear eating sounds coming from his kitchen. He hurried through the living room, and, as he'd expected, found Daffy Duck in his fridge, happily gorging himself on Elmer's food!

"Oh no!" Elmer cried. "Not you too, you scwewy duck!"

"Not me too what, Chucklesth?" Daffy asked, chomping on an ear of corn on the cob.

"Soon as I get my gun, I'm gonna bwast you!" Elmer said. He started towards where he kept his gun when he realized he already had it in his hands. He slapped himself on the forehead, then hurried back to shoot Daffy.

But Daffy had realized Elmer would notice he already had his gun, and knew that he'd be back in a moment. The duck was already racing for Elmer's backdoor. "Woo woo! Thanksth for the grub, Gertrude!"

Elmer raced out the backdoor and pursued Daffy down the same street, shooting several times before he once more heard peals of laughter. "Oh no!" he cried. "Not again!" Elmer raced back home and slammed the backdoor.

After all of this running around, Elmer was extremely hot and sweaty, and decided to take a shower then get dressed. He knew either Bugs or Daffy would be back soon, and didn't want to get caught outdoors in his underwear again chasing them.

Elmer had just stepped into the shower when the phone rang. "Why does that bwasted phone wing evewy time I step into the shower?" he demanded. He wrapped a towel around himself and hurried to the phone. "Hewwo?" he said. "What? No I don't want to subswibe to any magazines!" He hung up the phone and started back towards his shower when there was a knock at the door.

"Doggonit1" he cried, running to get his gun. "If it's that wabbit or duck again I'm gonna bwast their heads off!"

It proved to be Porky Pig, holding a suitcase in one hand and a brush in the other. "G-g-good m-m-m-m-morning, S-s-sir! I'm selling this handy d-d-dandy brush set for the p-p-p-p-p-p-p-heh, heh, I sound like a motorboat, don't I?-for the price of j-j-just ten d-d-d-d-dollars and…"

Elmer slammed the door in his face.

"Well, h-h-h-happy to see you too, g-g-g-grouch!" Porky said, walking away angrily. "D-d-darn it! Why won't anybody ever let me f-f-f-finish my sales p-p-p-p-pitch?"

Elmer muttered to himself as he returned to his bathroom. "I should take a nice wong soothing bath instead of a shower," he said. "My nerves are really shot!" He picked up his toy boat and opened the shower door.

"Thanksth, chum," Daffy said, grabbing the boat and slamming the door in Elmer's face. The door opened again. "Call me when breakfastht is ready, fat boy!" The door slammed again.

Elmer ran and got his gun again. Hearing him coming, Daffy leaped out the window and ran. Elmer climbed out the window and followed him. Back into town. In his towel.

"Hey you!" a police officer yelled. "We've been getting complaints about you! I'm running you in for indecent exposure!"

"Gweat!" Elmer said. "As weast I won't have to put up with those scwewy cwitters for awhile."

Elmer was tossed into a cell. He sighed with relief. At least he wouldn't have to deal with those pests while he was in there! Then he cringed as he heard chewing behind him. He turned and stared in horror at Bugs, Daffy, and Porky, all locked in the same cell as he was.

"Oh no!" he cried. "What are you guys doing here?!"

"I t'ought _you _were tough to get along wit'," Bugs said. "But filch just one lousy carrot from a supermarket and dey make it a federal case."

"I f-f-forgot to get a p-p-p-p-p-pedlar's license," Porky admitted.

"What about you?" Elmer asked Daffy. "Why are you here?"

"The water in your shower overflowed through your housthe and down the lawn into the sthtreet!" Daffy said, shrugging. "When I went back to finish my shower they thought I lived there and got me for wasthing water! Stheemsth there'sth a drought going on right now! Oh, that remindsth me! Here'sth your water bill, fat boy!"

Elmer took the piece of paper from Daffy and read it. "Three hundred bucks?!" he cried. He threw himself on the floor of the cell and threw a temper tantrum, kicking and screaming. "Waaaaaa!"

"What the heck is _his_ problem?" Bugs demanded.

"C-c-crazy with the h-h-heat, probably," Porky suggested.

"I think he'sth justh crazy!" Daffy said.

The End


End file.
